Author Warren Ellis
Publisher William Morrow Paperbacks
Burned-out private detective and self-styled shit magnet Michael McGill needed a wake-up call to jump-start his dead career. What he got was a virtual cattle prod to the crotch, in the form of an impossible assignment delivered directly from the president’s heroin-addict chief of staff. It seems the Constitution of the United States has some skeletons in its closet: the Founding Fathers doubted that the document would be able to stave off human nature indefinitely, so they devised a backup Constitution to deploy at the first sign of crisis. In the government’s eyes, that time is now, as America is overgrown with perverts who spend more time surfing the Web for fetish porn than they do reading a newspaper. They want to use this “Secret Constitution” to drive the country back to a time when civility, God, and mom’s homemade apple pie were all that mattered.
The only problem is, no one can seem to find it . . .
So who better to track it down than a private dick who’s so down-and-out that he’s coming up the other side, a shamus whose only skill is stumbling into every depraved situation imaginable?
With no lead to speak of, and no knowledge of the underground world in which the Constitution has traveled, McGill embarks on a cross-country odyssey of America’s darkest, dankest underbelly. Along the way, his white-bread sensibilities are treated to a smorgasbord of depravity that runs the gamut of human imagination. The filth mounts; it is clear that this isn’t the kind of life, liberty, or happiness that Thomas Jefferson thought Americans would enjoy in the twenty-first century.
But what McGill learns as he closes in on the real Constitution is that freedom takes many forms, the most important of which may be the fight against the “good old days.”
What did I think?
Warren Ellis is well known for his graphic novels and I have previously read (and loved!) his book ‘Gun Machine‘ so I expected big things from this. To start, this is by far one of the quirkiest books I have ever read. From saline being injected in to ‘private parts’ to Baby Jesus butt plugs to the cult scene of Godzilla porn (and that’s just the start of it!) Ellis really finds the darker things in life and documents them brilliantly – it is slightly worrying at how much he really has put in to this book!
‘Crooked Little Vein’ is a brilliant book in terms of the effort that has been put in to it, but at the same time I feel like it lacks a gripping story line. Ellis has ensured that there were twists to keep you guessing that little bit to make sure you finish the book.
Don’t get me wrong, it really is a brilliant book, but I sometimes felt that Ellis put a bit more of his effort in to the research on the quirky and unexpected things and I say researched…because (worryingly!) almost every ‘quirk’ in ‘Crooked Little Vein’ is not invented by Ellis, it’s actually real!
The book is definitely worth a read, even if you just want to discover some of these random fetishes that exist in the world!
My Rating? ♥♥♥
Will you be adding this to your TBR pile?